Situationships

It’s been a while… Recently, I’m having a better emotional stage because I’m lucky to find someone that supports me so much. Until now, I can say that he's a good person, despite his status (he’s still in a divorce process), but somehow I often feel insecure. I didn’t know whether he wants me for…

Good bye 2020, Welcome 2021

This pandemic brings more time to ruminate my life. As days go by, I still bear hurts, more thoughts about things I can't control. I lied if I said I've moved on. Some parts of me still struggling with what-if scenarios. Late 2019 was a really bad year for me. I've through more rejections last…

My Box of Chocolate

Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you're gonna get. 2018Being a single mom after a tough divorce. Had a relationship with an awesome guy, it was great at first btw, but then he started making me to be someone who I am not. 2019Ups and downs of my relationship. Trying…

Why I Fall in Love with Someone I Can’t Have?

They said we have to keep positive thinking. Coz what you think, you become. But how to handle life when it does not work as you want it to be? I have so many things in my mind, yet, I feel like I still can't reach it all. I'm so disappointed with my self. Desperate,…

And Karma said…

Sounds familiar? Well, finally I have to accept the things I can't control. His feeling for me and other person attitudes. No closure, no further explanation, he just started to ignore me. No text, no more questions about my day and my kid. He's not the one I used to talk with. He became cold,…

My Messy Mind and Broken-hearted

Recently,  somehow I feel like I'm hitting the rock bottom. Seriously. Anxiety and insomnia at night. Lost memory and feel lethargic. First, my one and only fave person, suddenly change and choose not to talk with me anymore. Though our relationship for almost a year always ups and downs, we usually back into normal conversation.…

Why Me? (part two)

On my miserable days, I feel so vulnerable. I want to cry all the time. I fall into pieces, once again. I'm tired of this condition. But I can't say I'm OK. The truth is it's still feels hurt until today.  I don't want to see people. Even I skipped my lunchtime in the office…

Why Me? (part one)

Why Narc's survivor, somehow always experienced the same cycle again and again? It seems like my life is a movie that keeps repeating itself, over and over again.  I keep stuck in the infinite loop, constantly doing the same things. Do you believe in dating app? Seriously, I'm not very sure we really can get…

Who Are You?

Life, for me are truly surprising. Things change in a blink of an eye. Sometimes I have no idea why this is could happen to me. While 2018 struggled about my divorce issue, how to let go my significant other, and also fought for my daughter's custody. And now 2019, I'm distracting by new guy…

On Progress… On Progress…

I must repeating this sentence many many times... And so my narc yesterday come to my place after a weeks or two I started to ignoring his text. Last time he come to my place actually already a month ago. Well, maybe he a bit surprise because finally I try to get over it. Many…